You should choose wisely where you give birth and in this blog post I will explain why.
I truly believe that birth should be an inherently sovereign private biological act for mother and baby. What I mean by this is the birthing mother should maintain power over her decisions and her body and that of her baby’s at all times and this is far more achievable if she chooses where she gives birth.
Having spoken to numerous mothers & midwives who have given birth or delivered babies both in hospitals and in home settings it has become blatantly obvious that successful hospital births are very rare and mainly boil down to three things.
LUCK – it is pure good fortune if your favourite midwife or Doctor happens to be on their shift and assigned to your care when your baby decides to make an appearance. You have no control over who is on duty at that time and whether or not you will like them or if they will agree with your birthing plan and what you do and don’t want during labour.
PRIVILEGE – it is a sad but true statistic that a white woman’s needs are listened to more than a black woman. Also, how much you comply, you will often be extended more privileges if you’ve adhered to hospital protocol all along and haven’t been a “difficult patient” for the medical staff throughout your pregnancy.
Finally, EXPECTATIONS – you could have such highly managed expectations you may think you had a great hospital birth but in fact you’re so used to being indoctrinated and subservient that often there was still something you weren’t happy about. Like a vigorous abdominal massage to birth the placenta or an episiotomy that you were told you had to have. (In reality though they very rarely have a real medical reason to take place). Or you may simply mourn the fact your baby was taken from you straight away to be cleaned up, weighed and measured and presented back to you in a clean little blanket.
True successful hospital births are few and far between because instinctively of course we want our babies with us straight after birth and you bet we know we’d rather not be cut and we know deep down we don’t want to follow hospital protocol just for the sake of doing so. So why do we do it anyway and often with grace and gratitude? Simply because that is what is expected of us and has become the norm in today’s society.
You can only guarantee the beautiful sovereign experience it should be and have the best possible chance at the blissful birth you want if you choose wisely where you give birth. It needs to be an environment with no other motives at play, one with no manufactured dependency on the industrial birth machine. By this I mean it is very much in the medical profession’s interests for the birthing mother to need the machines they’ve invested thousands, if not millions of dollars in to test, probe and monitor them. That’s what they’re there for so it’s best to put them to good use even if they’re not needed, right?
Mothers are being unashamedly lied to that they need to be checked for dilation, we are made to be subservient and not to question anything we’re told to do. We are led to believe the trained medical staff know best and our own body’s true knowledge is not to be trusted. We are constantly undermined and it’s often easier if we just do as we’re told and be thankful for it too. Who needs conflict at a time when they are feeling most vulnerable?
But please don’t just hand over your power to the doctors and the midwives and the machines they use. Birth is not an illness, your body knows exactly what it is doing if it’s left to do it in a compassionate and respectful way. Women have been giving birth for hundreds of thousands of years without intervention and just going on their instincts.
You must think for yourself, have real sovereignty over your own body and that of your baby’s and realise that you are symbiotic. The way your baby is born and delivered will impact not only you but your tiny baby too. Traumatic interventions have a huge link with bonding issues, breastfeeding problems and post natal depression. Your baby’s brain chemistry will be massively affected by any pharmaceutical drugs used during labour. Any violent methods of extraction like the Ventouse, Forceps and c-section where your baby is forcibly removed from your body is also hugely distressing for you both and will leave not just physical but mental scars too.
Sadly in the modern world we are brain washed into thinking these procedures are standard and that we should just hand our bodies over to the “experts” as they know best. But when it comes to birthing your baby, believe me, you are the expert and you don’t need a medical degree to deliver your newborn. Your body knows exactly what it is doing and your instincts are there for a reason so you must trust them. If you feel violated or you feel you don’t want a seemingly normal procedure like an internal examination or an episiotomy to happen to you that is because it isn’t right for you and therefore it shouldn’t be happening! So please stand up for your rights and safeguard yours and your baby’s blissful birth experience with everything you have.
Instead of hospitals what environment should you choose to give birth in then?
In my Blissful Birthing Course I encourage you to choose wisely where you give birth. That could be a home birth, a birthing centre or at the very least a compassionate midwife led facility. You need people around you who won’t argue with you or have conflicting views and opinions. They need to be sensitive and understanding to your needs and demands so that you can be completely in the zone to birth your baby.
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With thanks to Nicki Feltham Photography for the images.
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